Perhaps a tad on the nose but I still think it fits. My lovely little blog here is almost a year old, and having realized that I went back through the other night and reread what I'd said up to this point. And I came to a conclusion, I still have no idea where I'm going with this. I've written about a myriad of topics, from love, to heart break, travel to loss. I've written about writing and thinking, fighting and laughing. But I still don't know where I'm going.
I've been writing this post for near on a week now, unsure what to say or do. Always looking for the inspiration that's right around the corner just out of reach. So I read, other blogs to be precise. Just to see what they do or where they go. I read a friends fashion blog, a lovers empty blog, a friends emptier blog, and of course the blog that got me started on this whole crazy adventure of writing to a crowd, and many, many, others. And the conclusion that I reached this morning as the bread bakes and I have time to kill? The very best blogs ramble on, they relate to your life because they're mundane while seeing the magic underneath it all. They're exciting because that same stuff happens to you. And they're helpful because every once in a while it's fun to make thermite.
I don't know where my blog is headed, and perhaps I'll never know, but I can't wait to see where it takes me, and I've started to wonder this morning if perhaps that's because Dumbledore was wrong. Perhaps dwelling on dreams is what makes things magical, or keeps hope alive, the hope that a relative will make it through cancer or the simple hope that your blog has some purpose in this world even if you don't know what it is. Because we never know who's reading this. The boy in New York who stumbled upon one of my countless articles about love and realized the girl in chemistry is worth fighting for. Or the girl in California who reads just to see what's going on in my life. And finally the girl in Oregon who's partially inspired to continue writing and to hell if her blog rambles too.
I've changed they're lives for better or worse simply by eccentrically rambling when I get the chance and so has every other rambling blog out there. So I'm gonna keep writing as long as you keep reading because who knows when my ramblings will take us some place cool? I know I eagerly await new posts from you guys for the same reason (some of you a little longer than others). So here's to another year of rambling, and hopefully the same from all of you. Let's keep one little corner of the blogosphere wonderfully random, shall we?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Love, or Something Akin to It
Hey You,
It's been awhile, since I've blogged, and since we've talked. So that's why I'm writing this. Might as well kill two birds with one stone as the say. but anyway to the meat of the subject: ME! oh... yes.... and you as well haha.
You once made the mistake, like so many before you, of believing I was perfect, or, well put together I believe your words were. But I'm not, far from it in fact. You see my well dressed facade, the collar, and the perfectly tied tie. You hear the English mannerisms in my speech, and the refined vocabulary. But you don't see, because I don't want you to. You don't see the boy underneath, the shattered personality at times so consumed by his OCD he spends an hour or more tying that tie. You don't see the fear that fills my heart and stomach when I see you or talk to you, because I think you're beautiful.
Look closely at my face and you'll see the spot I missed shaving because I slept in too late, and later that day ask me what I'm thinking, and I'll tell you something sweet and charming but what I'm really thinking? "Gah! The spot I missed is so obvious I'm sure she see's it, I know this will drive her away." You see the perfect posture, slightly out turned feet to prevent slouching. Elbows off the table when I'm eating. What you miss though is far less refined; I trip up and down stairs daily, I'm I'm so klutzy you'd think I went out of the way to trip over my cat in the morning. I walk into doors walls, and people, almost daily, usually because I'm lost too deep in my own thought about something plaguing me.
My point is love, I'm just as terrified as you were, I've just become adapt at hiding it. (for the most part anyway.)
I leave you with my final thought on this topic for now though:
A wise high school friend of mine once called me: "A bloody serial monogamist!" (truth time, several people have actually said this to me, her's stuck with me though because she slapped me to get the point across.) And while yes, I do so enjoy having one person to dote upon and be with, lately, it's become less of a worry to me. That's not to say that if we we're to go on a date that I would turn around and ask out the very next girl I see after I drop you off at home. It simply means that you're not ready for a relationship and as you can clearly see from above, and considering all that's happened, neither am I. All I want is a friend who's maybe a little more, someone fun, and smart, who isn't going to cause me a heart attack from worry. NOT to sell you short of course! I just don't want to be a serial monogamist right now. I bumbled that up didn't I? Well I'm hoping you understand what I'm trying to get across, I'm fairly certain you will.
Many people are going to read this, a few, will know it's about them, but it isn't, it's about you. I'd give you a hint but, you're an awfully smart girl and 'm sure you'll know it's actually you, and...... well. You know how I do so enjoy keeping you guessing.
I'm afraid though I really must be off, I've some cheesecake cookies in the oven that are about to burn, and I think I've finally perfected that damn recipe.
Adieu for now my dear.
Sincerely,
A Thief of Love
It's been awhile, since I've blogged, and since we've talked. So that's why I'm writing this. Might as well kill two birds with one stone as the say. but anyway to the meat of the subject: ME! oh... yes.... and you as well haha.
You once made the mistake, like so many before you, of believing I was perfect, or, well put together I believe your words were. But I'm not, far from it in fact. You see my well dressed facade, the collar, and the perfectly tied tie. You hear the English mannerisms in my speech, and the refined vocabulary. But you don't see, because I don't want you to. You don't see the boy underneath, the shattered personality at times so consumed by his OCD he spends an hour or more tying that tie. You don't see the fear that fills my heart and stomach when I see you or talk to you, because I think you're beautiful.
Look closely at my face and you'll see the spot I missed shaving because I slept in too late, and later that day ask me what I'm thinking, and I'll tell you something sweet and charming but what I'm really thinking? "Gah! The spot I missed is so obvious I'm sure she see's it, I know this will drive her away." You see the perfect posture, slightly out turned feet to prevent slouching. Elbows off the table when I'm eating. What you miss though is far less refined; I trip up and down stairs daily, I'm I'm so klutzy you'd think I went out of the way to trip over my cat in the morning. I walk into doors walls, and people, almost daily, usually because I'm lost too deep in my own thought about something plaguing me.
My point is love, I'm just as terrified as you were, I've just become adapt at hiding it. (for the most part anyway.)
I leave you with my final thought on this topic for now though:
A wise high school friend of mine once called me: "A bloody serial monogamist!" (truth time, several people have actually said this to me, her's stuck with me though because she slapped me to get the point across.) And while yes, I do so enjoy having one person to dote upon and be with, lately, it's become less of a worry to me. That's not to say that if we we're to go on a date that I would turn around and ask out the very next girl I see after I drop you off at home. It simply means that you're not ready for a relationship and as you can clearly see from above, and considering all that's happened, neither am I. All I want is a friend who's maybe a little more, someone fun, and smart, who isn't going to cause me a heart attack from worry. NOT to sell you short of course! I just don't want to be a serial monogamist right now. I bumbled that up didn't I? Well I'm hoping you understand what I'm trying to get across, I'm fairly certain you will.
Many people are going to read this, a few, will know it's about them, but it isn't, it's about you. I'd give you a hint but, you're an awfully smart girl and 'm sure you'll know it's actually you, and...... well. You know how I do so enjoy keeping you guessing.
I'm afraid though I really must be off, I've some cheesecake cookies in the oven that are about to burn, and I think I've finally perfected that damn recipe.
Adieu for now my dear.
Sincerely,
A Thief of Love
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