Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Scene My Bedroom it's 2:30 am a black and white cat sleeps at the foot of the bed. Pan up to me, wide awake.

I do my best thinking at night. Why? Because when you're an insomniac like I am you have a lot of time at night to think. I also watch a lot of movies, lately I've watched RENT several times. It's an amazing movie with a wonderful message. If you haven't seen it I would suggest you go out and RENT (couldn't resist) it sometime.

Now my favorite song in the movie (apart from Seasons of Love) is I Should Tell You, anyway this song started me thinking tonight, over the past few weeks I've had several friends ask me for my opinion on this issue with a relationship or another. Long story short my ultimate answer was "Just tell them how you feel, yeah they could say no, but they'll never say yes if you don't give them the chance." As I've mentioned before in We Were Both Young When I First Saw You I've always been that guy who sat back in the cafeteria looking at the pretty girl in line and thinking "Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll get up the courage to ask her out." You want to know a funny thing about tomorrow? It never, ever comes, because when it gets here it's today. So there I sat, quietly liking her but being to afraid to do anything. (Although, in my defense I did get up the courage to ask whatever girl I happened to like at the time to dance so I guess Courage .5 Cowardice 1. ACTUALLY, I even managed to ask a girl I really liked to homecoming once so I think it's tied up.)

I should tell you, I should tell you.
I should tell you I love you.
I should tell you I miss you.
I should tell you I hi.
I should tell you I want to reconnect.
I should tell you.
I should tell you how I feel about you.
I should tell you I hated you once.
I should tell you I'm sorry.
I should tell you good bye.
I should tell you I wish we never stopped.

So here it is: I'm gonna try to tell people how I really feel about them from now on. We only have one life to live. I ask you now, why should I hide? I make no promises about telling you right away but I will. I may need a little prodding, a gentle shove in the proper direction. Hopefully though, eventually I'll be able to do it without help. Until that point if you'd like to know ask, if not, will okay then. :)

Serenity

It's been a while since I last wrote and, to be quite honest, I haven't had any desire to do so. So very much has changed. I'm the kind of person who always has to have a plan, why? Because plans make me feel like I'm in control of what's going on. Believe me when I say I know that God is the one with the real plan but still.

I'm lost, and I don't mean geographically, I'm always lost that way. 

I'm lost in as much as I don't know what to do next. I'm so used to having a plan, to knowing exactly what I want to happen. I'm so used to having everything fall neatly in to place just as I PLANED, it would. But as they say, no battle plan survives contact with the enemy. 

Yet I can't get over the simple fact that it didn't work. Why didn't it work? It almost always works, everything I do has a purpose, a reason. Like a clearly thought out game of chess, I know what my opponent will do, has done, and is thinking of doing. But now it's like they changed the game, right in the middle, like, we went from playing Chess to playing Chutes and Ladders, and I fell down the chute.

So now I'm lost, an unsuccessful plan, a strange new place, and always the over arching thought, "Why didn't it work?" And of course I can't lay the blame on outside influences, unexpected moves from a player who knew more about the game than anticipated. No, my nature is to wonder what I did wrong? How did I mess up the plan? What move did I skip? 

And no matter how much I try to tell myself, "It's not your fault. Even the best laid plans can be undone by one loose string. One variable unaccounted for in the formula. I still can't help but blame myself. In my heart I know it wasn't my fault, but sometimes logic takes over. So now I'm lost, do I choose to lay a new plan? Or do I try for once to do things with out a plan? Do I forget logic for a time and listen to my heart? I don't know what to do, and whether I lay a new plan or follow my heart, remains to be seen. I know however, no matter which path I choose things can't be the same, I won't be able to go back to a point were I can re-use the old plan, I must make a new one or forgo it altogether.


I know this sounds ridiculous and vain, but the truth of the matter is, yes, I'm a hopeless romantic, but this. The logical, cold calculating approach is how I think. Funny isn't it? One of the biggest hopeless romantics in the world and I choose to express myself this way. But for me, science is something I've always keenly understood, and no matter how complicated my life got, I could always lose myself so easily in a Chemistry conundrum. And perhaps that's what I need to do now. But for the first time, God am I having more issues than normal when it comes to not thinking about it over, and over again. Honestly, I just wish God would give me some insight into his plan, then at least I could figure out what my next move is gonna be.  

We Were Both Young When I First Saw You

My mind is racing, my heart is pounding. It's true what they say about long distance relationships, how they're crazy and stupid, and psychotic, and frankly just plain hard. The truth of the matter is I love her with all my heart she means so very much to me. To be honest though, I'm afraid I might lose her and the rational side of me is screaming at the top of its little voice "Let. The. Fraction. Go!" (my rational side likes math humor) But we all know deep down inside I'm not only an optimist but a hopeless romantic (a pain in the butt combination, trust me.) so my heart is screaming at me in an even louder voice.

HOLD ON IDIOT!!!!!!!


(my heart prefers to get straight to the point.) 


And honestly I'm probably gonna listen to my heart, because that's what I do I always ignore my head and listen to my heart, and I usually end up regretting it. But, I don't know for the first time in my life I've truly found someone worth fighting for, and I may be scrawny, and weak, but right now at least I'm gonna fight tooth and nail because that's what I do. I'm tired of being the boy who's too nice to date I'm tired of pining  after someone for ages only to see them go out with someone when I finally get up the courage to tell them how I feel.


So no moar. 


I've always been able to give great advice on relationships, I've always dreamed of all the things I would do for a girl, and whether because she didn't like me or we both made mistakes or were just to nerdy and nervous to do what needed to be done. I've never really been able to do those things. Now I finally have a relationship where I can and have done them, and it turns out that I like doing them! (I know duh! Right?) Point is I want to keep doing them forever.

I know some of you will read this and not understand, some of you will read it and sympathize or not I don't care. SUFFICE it to say I am happy to be here with her, and I am happy with her, the long distance thing has just killed us. But I plan on continuing to be happy with her, and who knows maybe I'm completely wrong and I'm just running down a hill that ends in heart break, but Damnit Jim! I'm a hopeless romantic not logical. (I have a dirty secret: I've been waiting forever to work in a Star Trek reference into my blog.)  I can't just stopping being an optimistic, hopeless romantic, it's who I am and has defined pretty much every choice I've ever made in life.

So this is the new me, my new years resolutions, it's like in the old movies a guy see's a girl across a crowded room and he turns to his friend and say "I'm gonna marry that girl one day." Well this is me saying it, nay this is me screaming it, I'm in love with Laura Fae Sgro, and I sure as Hell am not gonna go down without a fight.

P.S. I'm sorry about the rational joke too. What can I say? Math humor makes me chuckle.

P.P.S. I noticed in retrospect that this seems kind of mopey but it isn't supposed to be. It's supposed to be kind of determined, or resolute?

P.P.P.S. Resolute is a great word I don't use it often enough. And if you're having trouble reading as such, hum Eye of The Tiger or some similar, motivational-y song, it helps.

Love and Coffee

Blogging in a coffee shop. Hrmmm this is a new one for me, actually though it’s kind of fun. Laura’s currently at work (I know, I know. Who works when their boyfriend is coming to visit?!) but I digress, so I’m stuck in a coffee shop for the next four hours. I figured I might as well do something productive and I thought “Hey coffee shop and blogging go hand and hand.” So here I am writing a blog about who knows what (As soon as I find out where I‘m going with this post I’ll tell you promise) drinking a mocha latte.

Lightbulb.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and here’s the kicker: I. Hate. Greatly dislike. Valentine’s Day. Why? Because it’s a stupid pointless holiday. I know as a hopeless romantic it should be illegal for me to hate the one holiday of the year all about hopeless romanticism but see that’s the issue for me. I really don’t think that people should take one day out of the year to do clichéd cheesy things for the person they love. If you truly love someone then doesn’t it make more sense to do spontaneous romantic things everyday? (with in financial and reasonable limits of course.) Now I’m not saying that we should completely ignore Valentine’s Day, it is after all expected of us to do big romantic things.But here it goes, I hope you’re ready for this because I have a crazy idea: what if….. we stop expecting big romantic things one day out of the year and try and show our love every single day?

It doesn’t have to be anything big, send flowers because it’s Tuesday or make a moose named Herbert at Build-a-Bear just because it’s a Thursday. Write a letter because it’s Sunday. Or if you don’t/can’t spend money listen about their day. It’s not at all hard to do the unexpected every day whether big or small expensive or not your partner will always appreciate when you show them you care.

So here’s the start of a new tradition, no more Happy Valentine’s Day, I’d rather wish you a happy everyday of the year. Now get up and go show your love you care, or if you’re single, talk to that girl at the coffee shop, or the cute boy at the movie theater. Although they could say no, if you don’t give them the chance they’ll never say yes either. 

I Wouldn't Bring Up Paris if I Were You, It's Poor Salesmanship.

I LOVE ADVENTURE. Any trip big or small can be turned into an adventure. Now you may think that’s a ridiculous statement, after all how much adventure can be had driving to the grocery store and back to pick up milk? Well my answer to you is this:  next time you drive to the store blast something epic (my go to adventure song? The Horrible Credits from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog) If you don’t know it Google it. That song can turn anything in to an adventure of epic proportions. Anyway, so here I am on a train, truth be told first time I’ve ever ridden a train. And I am having the most fun I have ever had on a trip!

I couldn’t tell you what it is exactly perhaps the romance of trains or their long storied history. Whatever it happens to be here I am on a twenty plus hour train ride grinning like a fool the whole time. Admittedly there is very little to do but it’s still just plain fun. For instance, I’m sitting here blogging which is something I do enjoy anyway but on the train? It’s like three hundred times cooler! Perhaps it’s the mystery of it, I know I’m writing in a little blog that few people read but the passengers around me don’t know that. For all they know I’m writing secret government documents or the script for the next big blockbuster.

I suppose the other great part of the train is the scenery rushing by and the train car I’m in right now. See I am currently in the lounge which is a completely refurbished early forty’s era train car, you want to talk about the romanticism of trains I feel wrong not typing this on a typewriter! Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to get to my ultimate destination, but I think I’m going to be traveling by train a lot more often now. Seriously, if you haven’t done it you should. Take a break from life next time you get a chance and hop aboard a train somewhere see if you feel the excitement and rush. 

Did You Sail Across The Sun?

I haven't paid much attention to my blog as I should. I get so caught up in work and school that I forget it's even here. The funny thing is I write in two journals every night and spend most of my day thinking about how I would write about the things I see if I had to. Recently a friend, Heidi who writes a lovely little blog entitled Bartlebee's Bumblings was teasing me about not writing in my blog, she had some lovely things to say about the few entries that I have made and it has made me realize that I aught to take a little time out of my day to sit and reflect in my blog as well as my journals, after all it's the little things that catch us by surprise so why should I only write when the big things happen?

The truth of the matter is I love writing. Every time I sit down to write something my heart soars and I always feel so much better. My computer is full of stories and poems and random things I've written. So I've decided, since I still have no idea where this blog is going (other than a fast ticket to random) that perhaps from time to time I'll post some of my writings, and of course I still muse about things big and small. Love given and received. So I say to you, my dear followers are you willing to take a journey with me while my blog rambles on and perhaps discover when we reach our destination whatever it maybe the beautiful, magical, things we've seen along the way? Because for me, a journey isn't about the destination, but the oh so wonderful adventures you have along the way. 

Rawrglesnargle

Hrmmm it's been a while. I suppose since the epic success of my last post I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to write a better one. But, no mater the show must go on as they say. And while we're on that subject......

In high school I wrote a play for my junior project and then directed, produced, managed, went crazy(er) because of it, etc. etc for my senior project. The point is, since then I haven't really looked at it again, until, that is, I got bored the other week and pulled it out, dusted it of and began the processes of adding some more of the scenes that were tumbling around in my head. So I thought it would be lovely if you, my followers and or Facebook friends, fellow stumblers (I have had people discover my blog that way....) would be so kind as to give me some of your ideas for improvement, things you'd want to see added etc, etc.

Now before anyone comments on it; I know that the spelling and grammar and all that are atrocious. Please keep in mind I wrote this the night before it was do. :p Anyway thank you so much for those of you who do take their time to read it, and help me improve this play. : )

Dreams and Things

By: Sam Cone

Act 1 Scene 1

Scene

A modern looking court room, inviting while still remaining business like and formal.  A kindly looking judge presides over the proceedings.

JUDGE (Slightly bored)

Frost, Nathan?

A haggard looking family, NATHAN, & ANNA stand up. They are dressed in what was obviously their best but has now fallen from its former grace, NATHAN’s jacket is slightly too small and outdated, the same can be said for ANNA’s dress. NATHAN steps forward to answer the judges’ summons

NATHAN (Somewhat nervous)

Yes, your honor?

JUDGE

Mr. Frost, after careful review of the case of the Frost Family versus The Untied States this court rules in your favor, and finds the FBI agent charged with the accidental shooting of your daughter, guilty of man slaughter.  The city has offered as a settlement for your daughter’s death the sum of $5 million to cover any expenses that this terrible event may have incurred. Do you accept these terms?

NATHAN (Stuttering)

Yes, your honor.

JUDGE

Very well. Your lawyer has informed me of your lack of financial stability and the city has agreed to pay half of the sum immediately and the other half in monthly installments until such time as you or your wife finds regular employment, at which point you will be paid the remaining balance. Do you have any objections?

NATHAN

No, your honor.

JUDGE

I would like to express my sympathy for the passing of your daughter, Susan. I know that human life is priceless, but I hope that this will at least help support your family during this time of grief. (To BAILIFF) Bailiff, please escort the Frost family out. Court is adjourned.  

BAILIFF

This way please.

NATHAN stays back as ANNA starts to walk away, his unfocused eyes are staring off in the distance and he appears to be lost in some personal nightmare. ANNA glances back realizing he is no longer next to her and comes back to shake NATHAN from his thoughts. The look he gives her is one of immense pain and sorrow.

NATHAN (Quietly, dejectedly)

I could have saved her Anna, I could have DOVE in front of the bullet, or if I had gotten her to the hospital just a little bit faster. I was too weak to do anything like that.

  ANNA (Concerned)

Nathan dear, you did everything you could have. Susan’s death was not your fault. You’re a hero; you caught the man the FBI agent was shooting at.

NATHAN

Yes, after he shot me, and the FBI agent shot our daughter in an act of poor judgment.  I’m, not a hero Anna… I’m too (pause) weak. The man almost killed me trying to escape. How can I be expected to save my family when I can barely save myself?

ANNA (trying to cheer him up)

Oh dear, you are a hero; you did everything within your power to save Susan. The paramedics said it was hopeless the minute she was shot. Not to mention, the police would not have caught the man without your help.

NATHAN

I’m sorry Anna, but you’re wrong. If you only knew how I feel right now you would understand.

ANNA

Maybe you’re right. I think that maybe you just need to sleep for once and you’ll feel better in the morning. Come on, let’s go home.

NATHAN (near hysterics)

Sleep? How can I sleep? No parent should have to burry their child. Yet here we stand celebrating a pay off because of her death. This should never have happened.

ANNA (harshly)

Nathan
dear, pull your self together! We all feel the way you do but we manage to contain it ‘till a more appropriate time.

NATHAN (Shouting)

How am I supposed to see that! Peter hasn’t spoken since Su died; he’s just sat at his piano playing her song over and over again. (Quietly, crying) Do you have any idea how much that hurts, knowing he wrote that song for her, but she never made it home to hear it?  No, you can’t because all you’ve done since she died is drown your sorrow in whatever alcohol you can get your hands on!

ANNA (Crying too)

Stop it Nathan, of course it hurts! Do you think I got drunk just because it was fun?! There was nothing else I could do! You think you’re the only one who was hurt by Su’s death? Well your not. We all hurt! But that doesn’t mean we shout at each other. We have to stick together. I know that it will never replace Susan, but this money is the best thing that could have happened to us. We can give her a proper burial now and make sure that Peter’s musical talents flourish. 

NATHAN (Composing himself)

I’m sorry Anna; I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I’m just so stressed right now; I just wish none of this had ever happened.

ANNA

So does every other parent who’s buried a child, but that is not their choice. All they get to choose is whether or not they’ll rip their family apart, or keep it whole.

NATHAN

I would die if I lost you and Peter as well.

ANNA (Soothingly)

I know dear, I know.

They both exit in the direction of the bailiff

Act 1 Scene 2

Scene

A once elegant living room, now slightly decrepit. A cold fire place dominates the main wall, with a chair, lamp and a book shelf filling the rest of the room. A haunting piano melody floats in off stage, it’s happy and yet there are underlying chords of sorrow that would have been subtle if the person playing did not play them louder than the frivolous, happy melody.

NATHAN and ANNA enter the room

ANNA

Peter darling, do come here.

The melody continues unabated

NATHAN

Something’s different.

ANNA (Worried)

What do you mean?

NATHAN

That’s Susan’s song but it’s (pause) sadder, I think.

ANNA

Can’t we stop him? He should know what happened.

NATHAN

Perhaps, but I don’t think we should interrupt him; this is his way of expressing pain.

The melody suddenly stops. NATHAN and ANNA glance upwards in shock as PETER enters the room. He is a gaunt young man, his features sunken and his eyes swollen as if he’s been crying. PETER’s clothing is somewhat stained and worn as if the brooding teenager who now wears it has had it since early childhood.

ANNA

We won; the judge said we would have our money soon.

PETER glances at her and then NATHAN. He continues to walk by, exiting the other side of the stage.

NATHAN

(Sinking into the chair)

I don’t know what to do Anna. I don’t think money is going to make him happy, only Su will, and she’s never coming back.

The melody starts. ANNA looks up, sighs and then walks out. The sound of glass clinking can be heard off stage. NATHAN puts his head in his hands and starts to cry. Several seconds later the doorbell rings. NATHAN looks up; ANNA can be heard off stage talking to who ever is at the door. She walks in, drink in hand, smiling faintly. NATHAN looks at her curiously.

ANNA (Answering his unasked question)

The interior decorator darling. He’ll be by next week to decorate the house.

NATHAN (Confounded)

We haven’t had the money more than a few hours and already you’re spending it?

ANNA (Bubbly)

Only a little bit dear. We can’t live like this for ever and I thought we should put the money to good use. Besides do you think your parents would be pleased with the way their house looks now? I thought we could shine it up good as new.

NATHAN

Anna, I just don’t know. Spending this money, it doesn’t seem right to me.

ANNA (Obliviously drunk now)

(Giggling)

Oh, don’t be silly darling, we’re going to be so much happier now, just wait and see. Besides what else would we have done with it? Let it sit in a bank vault somewhere? I should think not. (Hiccup)  I even bought some new dresses; they’re so pretty you’re just going to die when you see them.

NATHAN shakes his head in defeat. ANNA bounces off stage once again, humming a happier version of the strange piano melody which stopped when the doorbell rang.

Act 1 Scene 3

Scene

The same. NATHAN is still sitting in the chair but the lights are now dim as if it is twilight.

NATHAN (Talking to himself)

Perhaps Anna is right. Maybe lamenting about Su’s death and forgetting to live myself isn’t right. But if that is true, than why does spending the money seem so wrong to me. (pause) Unless we spent it on something that would have made Su happy. Not frivolous things like clothing or household decorations, something that would have brought a smile to her face…

PETER walks in NATHAN looks at him in surprise.

PETER

Dad?

NATHAN

Yes?

PETER

I miss Susan

NATHAN

Me to. (pause) You know we won the case right? (PETER nods) Well, I was thinking, Su always liked your music. What if we bought you a new piano with some of the money? I think she would have liked that, don’t you?

PETER (Smiling)

Yeah,
she would have.

NATHAN

And you?

PETER

I would to.

They embrace

NATHAN

Welcome back kid.

PETER

Thanks dad.

The stage goes dark

Act 1 Scene 4

Scene

The apron a.k.a. “Imagination Land”. SUSAN is already there. The curtains are closed to allow for the scene change ANNA walks in stepping down onto the apron.

ANNA (Surprised)

Susan darling, why aren’t you ready yet? We’re going to leave soon.

SUSAN

Mother, you know very well that I can’t go with you to this.

ANNA

Don’t be silly dear. Why wouldn’t you be able to go?

SUSAN

You know Mother, you just won’t admit it.

ANNA

Susan I’ve no idea what you’re talking...

PETER

(walking on stage) Mom? Are you ready, who were you talking to?

ANNA (looking back over her shoulder to were SUSAN had been)

I was talking to Su (surprise) were did she go?

PETER

Were did who go? Mom, you’re worrying me. Come on mom we have to go to Susan’s funeral. Dad’s ready, he’s waiting for us.

ANNA (whispering)

I can’t go.

PETER

(Sighs) Why not?

ANNA

Because Susan’s not dead! I was just talking to her! She was right there. (quietly) Right there.

PETER

What are you trying to be funny mom? ‘Cause that’s just wrong! I miss Susan just as much as you and you think it’s funny to play a sick game?!

ANNA

I swear darling she was right there.

PETER

So how come you can see her but I can’t? How is that fair?

ANNA

I don’t know dear.

PETER

Just stop mom. Ok it’s not funny!

PETER exits

ANNA (calling after him)

I wasn’t trying to be funny. I really wasn’t…

ANNA exits stage goes dark

Act 2 Scene 1

Scene

The living room, now reinstated to its former glory. A fire burns happily in the fire place, ANNA is standing by the newly installed mini-bar looking magnificent in her party dress.
NATHAN
stands by the chair looking slightly uncomfortable in a new outfit.

ANNA (Bubbly)

Peter darling, where are you?

NATHAN (sarcastically)

I believe he’s out with his new “friends”.   

ANNA

Ohh, darling you’re not still upset about giving him half the money are you?

NATHAN (Angry)

As I’ve said before, I don’t think it was in his best interest. (ANNA shakes her head as if to tell him he’s wrong) Have you been paying the least bit of attention? That is not Peter anymore Anna, he’s changed. Did you see the new car he bought? (ANNA shakes her head again) I thought you told him to use the money on important things not blow it all on silly stupid things like fast cars, and “friends” of questionable character.

ANNA

Darling, this was the best thing for him. After all it got him out of the house. Besides I think his friends are lovely people.

ANNA walks away to the mini bar to refill her empty glass.

NATHAN (Under his breath)

You wouldn’t think they were so lovely if you had met them.

ANNA

What was that dear?

NATHAN

(Sighing) Nothing.

ANNA walks back, now with a full glass.

ANNA

You’re far too tense darling. (pause) I know what will make you feel better! Come with me to Joan’s party. She’s simply dying to meet you!

NATHAN

I don’t know Anna, I don’t really feel like socializing right now…

ANNA

Oh please, for me? It would be ever so droll with out you.

NATHAN

Well, I suppose we could go, for a little while. But please Anna I don’t want to spend hours there, alright?

ANNA

Of course darling! In and out I promise. Oh but this dress will never do for a party. I must put on something different.

ANNA walks of stage mumbling about dresses, NATHAN, slightly dejected, follows her after a short time.  

Act 2 Scene 2

Scene

The living room, once again dark. ANNA enters making a bee line for the mini bar. Once she reaches the mini bar she finds it empty. In anger she throws her empty glass accidentally hitting the picture of SUSAN on the mantel. She runs over to the picture and begins to cry upon seeing it broken.

ANNA

Oh, God what have I done. (she sinks to the floor) Susan I’m so sorry please forgive me. (NATHAN enters staying at the corner of the stage unnoticed by ANNA) I, I never meant for this to happen, you know, the drunkenness. But what could I do? Your father was right about me, I haven’t been paying attention. Oh God I would do anything to have you back Susan. For your father. And brother. (pause) For me. But I can’t bring you back. And the pain’s too much for me to handle. I wish I could. I really do. But I can’t. So this is my only option. My relief in its own sad simple way. I hope one day you can forgive me. Oh God, Nathan was right! I’ve been so horrible. (She continues to cry)

The door slams and in walks PETER, ANN quickly dries her tears.

ANNA

Peter darling, your home. Did you have a good time?

PETER

Sure, why not.

ANNA

Oh, will that’s good.

PETER

Yeah, whatever.

ANNA walks off stage. Clinking glass can soon be heard. NATHAN confronts PETER.

NATHAN

That’s no way to treat your mother.

PETER

Why do you care?

NATHAN

Because I love you both, and hate to see you act like that towards her.

PETER

And you’re a shining example, watching “mother” break down like that? Yeah wait to be the hero dad.

NATHAN

What was I supposed to do Peter? Tell her it wasn’t her fault, it was mine. Tell her I don’t mind that she’s always drunk now? Tell her that I’ve forgiven her! I can’t do that Peter!

PETER

Yeah, and so you think getting mad at me makes it better?

NATHAN

No Peter I don’t! But you have given me any other option.

PETER

Well if that’s the case why don’t you yell a little more, just to see if it eventually makes everything better! (PETER exits, the front door slams)

NATHAN

What’s happening to us?

ANNA

Oh dear! I could have sworn I left Peter here just a second ago.

NATHAN

He’s gone out.

ANNA

Oh…

NATHAN

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Anna (Pause) Peter’s just been so frustrating lately.

ANNA

I don’t…

NATHAN

It’s as if he doesn’t care how hard I’ve worked to keep this family together (pause) How much, I love him.

ANNA

I’m sure he knows you have his best interests in mind.

NATHAN

Of course I do!

ANNA

Will maybe if you tried to show it a little more?

NATHAN

I’ve tried Anna! I bought him a new piano1 I didn’t try to pull him out of his depression I let him be. You know, I don’t think he’s even touched the piano since I bought it.

ANNA

Maybe buying his love isn’t the best idea…

NATHAN

And what would you call what you’ve done Anna?!

ANNA

I don’t know. I thought I could make him happy again, like he used to be…

NATHAN

Well, in case you haven’t noticed it hasn’t! So what’s your little plan to make it better now?

ANNA

I… I don’t know Nathan.

NATHAN

Of course you don’t! You can’t possibly know! You’ve been to drunk to see anything! (pause) I’m sorry Anna, I know it’s not your fault.

ANNA

It’s not your fault darling…

NATHAN

Yes it is, I should never have gotten angry at you. Don’t make me out to be a hero Anna, I’m not.

ANNA

Of course you are Nathan, you….

NATHAN

No, Anna. I’m not (Anna tries to cut in) I don’t want to talk about it anymore Anna. I’m going for a walk I’ll be back in a while.

Act 3 Scene 1

Lights up on ANNA and PETER. ANNA is preparing a drink at the mini bar, PETER is seated in the chair.

ANNA

Peter darling your father loves you; he didn’t mean what he said to you. He just a little stressed right now.

PETER (sarcastically)

Super observant mom.

ANNA

Oh well, I suppose he might not always act like he has our best interest in mind (pause) but he really does…..

PETER

Oh so watching you completely break down and doing nothing is looking out for our best interests, huh?

ANNA drops her cup and hastily stoops to pick it up

ANNA (hesitating)

Oh you.. you so that huh….

PETER (sarcastically)

Don’t tell me you didn’t see dear, old dad and me sitting there.

ANNA

Well um you see (ad lib various other similar things)

Door slams off stage

NATHAN (From off stage)

Hello? Is anybody home?

PETER

Oh look, now my day is complete.

(PETER leaves just as NATHAN walks in)

NATHAN

Was that Peter you were talking to?

(Door closes, quietly)

ANNA

Oh umm I don’t think... maybe?

NATHAN

Well what is it?

ANNA

I don’t… no …

NATHAN

Anna what’s happening to us? This money, this supposedly “good thing” is tearing our family apart. Did you know Peter hasn’t even touched the piano we bought for him? I thought he would play it all the time but no, you know something I don’t even know what he does now.

ANNA

Well I’m sure he has a perfectly good reason…..

NATHAN

How can you make excuses for him Anna? What’s happened to him… to us it’s not good Anna (he sinks into the chair), how could it possibly be good? (He puts his head in his hands)

ANNA says nothing, the two of them sit lost in there own thoughts separated as far as possible in their own sections of the stage for several seconds, possible diming of lights to represent the passage of more time)

Door bell rings, NATHAN looks up but does nothing ANNA just stares off into space.

Door bell rings again.

NATHAN (Getting up)

I’ll get it.

NATHAN exits, indistinguishable talk can be heard off stage

ANNA (To audience & herself)

He really is a good boy, a really good boy, right? He must be, I think…. And Nathan he has our best interest in mind. At least, he said he did…..

Door closes off stage, NATHAN void of all emotion walks over to the mini bar pours a drink and then sits in the chair.

ANNA (quietly)

Was it the post man?

NATHAN

No.

ANNA

Oh….

NATHAN says nothing, ANNA looks anywhere but where NATHAN is sitting, finally she speaks up

ANNA

Well was it…..

NATHAN (Interrupting her)

(angry)

No Anna! It wasn’t the milkman or Joan or any one of the other stupid shallow people you’ve mad friends with!

ANNA (Breaking in)

Will who was it?

NATHAN

You want to know who it was? Do you!

ANNA (afraid)

Will yes of course…

NATHAN

It was the police Anna… (to himself) the police…

ANNA

The police? Why?

NATHAN

Peter killed himself Anna

ANNA

NO I was just talking to him… (pointing at chair) he was right there he can’t be dead. He just can’t be….

NATHAN

He crashed his car Anna on the road up to were Susan is buried. I completely totaled the car. The couldn’t even Identify him tell one of his “friends” recognized him when his body was brought in.

ANNA (horrified)

No….

NATHAN

Why would a lie Anna? Tell me why.

ANNA

I don’t know but he can’t. I just spoke to him. Why would he do that?

NATHAN

No, Anna, you didn’t.

ANNA (Angry)

Yes I did! He was right there! (Pointing at stage apron)

NATHAN

Stop it Anna! The police officer said he’s been dead for several hours you couldn’t have spoken with him!

ANNA (shouting)

But why Nathan. Why would he do that?

NATHAN

I DON’T KNOW ANNA! (Quietly) I don’t know.

Neither move for several seconds. Then ANNA gets up and walks off stage and a door is slammed. NATHAN does nothing. The Stage goes dark except for a single spotlight shining on the family portrait above the mantel, before fading to darkness.